Strike Three: Protesting the Protest

It's no secret -- I'm not a big fan of protesters, strikers, or even those clipboard-wielding college dropouts that collect money for Sick Kids. Here in Canada, people prefer to keep to themselves. Confronting a pedestrian with a pamphlet and a war chant is more likely to inspire them to curse your cause than support it. At least that's how it is with me.

I don't like people shouting. I don't like human walls, or crudely designed picket signs. I don't sign petitions. And yet, I seem to be experiencing something that I can only describe as 'protest fatigue'. In the last few months we Torontonians have had to tolerate Sri Lankan Tamil protesters trotting their women and children out to block one of the cities busiest highways, lazy garbage workers striking because they're lazy garbage workers (that would be reason enough for me), a threat of a strike by Liquor store workers (which resulted in record sales -- sounds like a booze-soaked conspiracy to me), and now problems next door: Air Canada workers are planning a strike to coincide with the Vancouver Olympics, cutting off an influx of tourists and their precious tourist dollars.

Do you like having a gun to your head, a gun held by a person who already enjoys the pleasures of a pension, health benefits, and a paycheck? I am -- I'm at the point where I want to disarm the gunmen and turn the pistol back on them, ala Steven Segal.

So let's turn lemons into lemonade. Garbage is piling up on the streets of Toronto, and though I resent the odour of curdled milk and festering, rotting meat as much as the next guy, I can't help but wonder how much work the union will have on their hands once the strike is resolved. I relish the thought, in fact. I could build a lifesize replica of the Michelin Man out of dog feces and leave it on the corner of Yonge and Dundas Street -- it will, inevitably, be cleaned up. So now, for once, we can spit our gum here and toss our soiled diapers there. In fact, if you have a corpse stashed in your freezer, now's as good a time as any to drop it off at one of the cities many infested public dumping grounds.

Toronto is now a public dumping ground -- so enjoy it.